Is Your Mind Present While Making a Sales Deal?

Much has been said about the various skills and personality traits that a sales person needs to have – he needs to have excellent communication skills, should be persuasive, should have the ability to negotiate a deal…. The list is endless! Yet, a salesman (or woman) may have all these qualities, yet fail to make a mark with his potential customers if he doesn’t have that one vital quality – Presence of Mind!

To better understand the importance of having Presence of Mind, let us look at an example. You make a very convincing pitch to your customer, and have all but closed the deal. Suddenly, the customer asks you about the truth of a recent news that has been circulating about your organisation which isn’t very positive. The customer is waiting for your response. What do you do? Evade the question? Lie through your teeth? Stumble on your response? In such a scenario, it is your Presence of Mind that is going to come to your rescue!

So what is this elusive quality all about? Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Common sense tells us that Presence of Mind simply means you have to be able to think on your feet, that you have to be able to come up with a relevant response when your customer throws you a googly. It is having enough mental agility to change course mid-journey, to address the unexpected when it comes up and do course correction without batting an eyelid. Indeed, for some of us who naturally possess this quality, this is simple enough. It is these people who can quip that when Life gives you lemons, make Lemonade! But for many of us, who tend to work within a given structure, the moment something out of the box is thrown to us, we tend to get flustered. So how do we learn to deal with such situations?

In order to become more adept at dealing with unexpected situations when making a sales call, it might be worthwhile to explore what this truly means. Presence of Mind, at its very basic level, essentially means being fully present to the moment. It means being completely tuned into your customer’s thought process, so that you anticipate the unexpected before it is uttered, or you are quickly able to relate to it from the customer’s point of view. If your Mind is fully Present in the situation, it will be easy for you to effortlessly go with the flow, address the unexpected that the situation throws up in an unfazed manner, and move on to successfully close the deal. You would have addressed your customer’s query without damaging your sales prospect and maintaining your integrity. This is what Presence of Mind is all about! It is not about lying to the customer, making excuses to wheedle out of the awkward situation or question, or ignoring it. It is about remaining in your integrity, addressing the issue tactfully and honestly and still being able to carry on with your deal.

To know more about where you stand on Presence of Mind and other Sales Skills, take our Sales Skills and Personality Profiler (SSaPP)!

Ms. Samindara Sawant

Clinical Psychologist
Disha Counseling Center | Psychometrica

Is Your Mind Present While Making a Sales Deal?

3 Guidelines to Master the Art of Maintaining Relationships

The term, ‘Relationships’ refers not just to romantic relationships, but to all the relationships that we share, be it our parents, siblings, friends and children, relationships between bosses and employees, teachers and students, and anyone we interact with.

Relationships, simply mean any situation in our life that involves others.

Human beings live in a society and man is a social animal. Thus our happiness, self-esteem, and ability to work, is greatly influenced by the quality of our relationships, thus affecting our mental health itself. And it is these relationships which lead to problems and also maladjustment in our lives. It is important to realize that in order to change relationships in a positive manner, we can only change the way we relate to others. Only this will change the way others relate to us.

Your relationships will work best if you are able to be yourself within them. Relationships in which you can be yourself are likely to feel more comfortable and to make you happier. Some very good relationships can be provocative and challenging too. However this in no way means that one can throw tantrums or be rude to people as one wishes. Also, relationships tend to be unsatisfying when one is fulfilling a role rather than being oneself. It is important then to improve such relationships.

Three guidelines to help you improve your relationships:

1. Work on changing yourself, not on changing others.


2. Changes take time.


3. Work with people as they are.

1: Work on changing yourself, not changing others.

The temptation, particularly if a relationship is stormy, is to insist to oneself and to others that it is not you that needs to change but the other person. Now it may be true that the other person could change but since you cannot change other people, it is not worth trying. The only way you can change another person is to change the way you relate to them. Working to change one’s self is always difficult. However, the changes you make will eventually bring in the necessary changes in others. Leave these changes up to them, and the relationship will feel better to you both.

2: Changes take time.

When you change the way in which you relate to others, they may resist that change and do things to make you change back. Making changes in relationships can take longer than making changes in yourself alone, and it requires persistence and sustained efforts over a period of time. Give change, time.

3: Work with people as they are.

Be realistic. If you find yourself thinking “If only he would tell me what he’s thinking” or “If only he didn’t criticise me so much”, remember that if you want to bring about some changes in those relationships you should put away these “if only” and accept people as they are. Once you start making changes in yourself, the other person is likely to begin to change.

To learn how to manage change in Life click here.

The importance of solitude

Although good relationships are valuable, don’t underestimate the importance of solitude; the ability to enjoy, and to find creative strength in our own company. To be at ease with oneself alone can be a source of refreshment and energy. Solitude is a necessary component of many creative activities that require us to draw from our own inner depths. Solitude is not the opposite of good relationships. In fact, if we are continually seeking company because we are uncomfortable with ourselves, this is likely to tarnish our relationships with others. If we are at ease with ourselves we will be at ease with others.

Ms. Shital Ravi.
Senior Consulting Psychologist.
Psychometrica and Career Pathways


3 Guidelines to Master the Art of Maintaining Relationships

Free Change Management Test

Do you know how to manage change effectively? Take our free change management test to find out which change management skills you need to develop.














Free Change Management Test

Understand and Learn to manage change...

“The only constant thing in life is change”.

This familiar quote sums up that nothing in life is static.  Everything is in a state of constant flux and there’s nothing we can do to stop change.  The whole world, countries, societies, companies and organizations must evolve and change to survive and so must every individual within them.

However the actual response to change and newness that occurs in the environment and the way one deals with its repercussions differ from individual to individual.  Broadly, there seem to be three types of responses to change:

Resistance:

Resistance is one of the strongest reactions to change. However not all resistance to change is confrontational and direct.  Resistance can also be passive in people who refuse to accept re-training or cannot accept new ideas and approaches.  Extreme passive resistance can be seen in people who refuse to engage in any kind of dialogue with those who have proposed a change.

Indifference:

The individual who is indifferent to change, usually views change as something going on around them.  The view of the indifferent person might be one of avoidance until some form of acceptance becomes absolutely necessary.  The indifferent person often believes that his or her world will remain unchanged and that someone else will be affected or will do what is necessary.  Apathy often accompanies this attitude to change with an “I can cope with it” mentality.

Openness and Receptivity:

These people are receptive to new ideas and prepared to embrace the reality of a situation recognizing what needs to be improved or done differently.  It is not necessarily about the desire for change for its own sake.  It is more of accepting the reality at a personal level.

Why do so many people respond so negatively to change?

In the short term, change can mean loss, discontinuity, and the destruction of a familiar and “safe” way of life…. “the good old days”. Basically change makes one leave their ‘comfort zone’ which many individuals find difficult to cope with.  Consequently it can lead to feelings of insecurity, a lack of understanding, a lack of trust and fear of the outcome. And these perhaps are some of the key reasons that lead people to reject change.

However one must take into account and focus on the positive factors that change brings in. Positive elements of change can include the creation of a better set of circumstances, the fun of being involved in something different, the opportunities presented from a new venture or means of employment.

Since you can not avoid the stress of change and you do not want to isolate yourself from positive change, you must learn to control the way you respond to these new situations.

Some pointers you can adopt to minimize the impact of change:

• Recognize and accept your limits. Remember that everyone is unique and different.


• Become aware of your reactions to change and newness.


• Make plans, but “hold your plans loosely.” Develop plans, but know that they may have to be reworked or adapted to change.


• Take the long view; realize that change takes time and you should not force yourself to make it happen too quickly.


• Take conscious efforts to change your reaction to change. Cultivate a positive attitude towards change.


• Learn some relaxation techniques.


• Pay more attention to your diet.


• Include an exercise regime in your daily schedule.

Understand and Learn to manage change...

Are you a good team member?

The buzzword in today’s corporate world is “collaboration”, and not “competition”. With super specialized jobs coming to the fore, networking with different professionals has become vital to survive in the corporate world today! Along with good technical knowledge, one also needs to possess the ability to work well as part of a team. Research has shown that teams are more successful than individuals in the following ways:

• In implementing complex plans.


• In coming up with innovative or creative solutions to problems.


• In getting breakthroughs in difficult and challenging obstacles.

What exactly is expected of you when you are working in a team? By working as part of a team, you contribute to the overall success of the organization. You work in conjunction with other coworkers to bring about this success. You have a specific and pre-designated role to perform; but at the same time, you are unified with the other members to achieve the overall targets or objectives. As a team, your chances of achieving your organization’s goals are much higher.

Yet ……. Many a time, we have seen that teams have failed miserably! Why does this happen? What are the qualities that are essential for a team to perform optimally? To begin with, an effective team should have clearly defined objectives and goals. A good team should also have unity and cohesiveness between team members. There should be a sense of being on the same side, and not a tendency toward one-upmanship!

A well functioning team also needs a good leader to lead and direct the activities of the team members, to resolve conflicts as and when they arise, to monitor the team’s progress and to see that the team is always on the right track and does not digress from its goals.

Are You A Good Team Member?

Answer the following questions to know more about your functioning in a team:

1. I prefer to work on my own. If you don’t have the ability or the willingness to collaborate with others, you are likely to be unhappy and dissatisfied in a team.


2. I like to have my work goals set by someone else. Teams are typically self-directed. If you’re more of a follower, you may feel more responsibility than you want.


3. I think other people work as hard as I do. Respect for the contributions of others is a foundation of good teamwork. If you think you’re the only one doing the hard work, you are likely to be frustrated! 


4. I like taking suggestions from others. Collaborating with others and teaching each other is the whole point behind teamwork.


5. At the end of the day, everyone is out for him/herself. On a team, success or failure will be determined by the team’s achievements, not your own.


6. I like to work with people who aren’t like me. The best teams are those that combine people with complementary, but differing, skill sets and work techniques.


7. I am more competitive than cooperative.  Some amount of healthy competition within team members is good. But if you are always competitive, it can undermine the team’s efforts.


8. I am always right. No one is! If you are one of those people who believe that they are always right, you will be resented by other team members!


9. I find it easy to trust other people. The most highly skilled individuals will be unable to accomplish anything as a team if they are unable to trust others and always suspecting the motives of other people.

Reflecting on these questions will give you some insight into your strengths and weaknesses as a team member. Remember, to be successful in today’s competitive world, it is necessary to recognize situations where you need to network and collaborate with others!


Are you a good team member?

How to overcome low self esteem

A very important aspect of an individual’s life, self esteem is a much talked about factor that can completely influence an individual’s outlook and approach towards his life and environment. What is this Self esteem?

Rosenberg defined self-esteem in terms of a stable sense of personal worth or worthiness. Nathaniel Branden says that “Self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness”.Simply put it is the confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the basic challenges of life. It is the package of beliefs that one carries around in his/her head, that one has accepted to be the truth about him or herself, whether it is or not. Self esteem is important as it has the power to influences our lives. It mainly influences ones achievement, accomplishments, beliefs, values, and ones commitment towards ones values.

How does low self esteem develop?

• Due to negative and bad environment.


• Put downs from significant others.


• Subjected to ridicule by others.


• Negative experiences.


• Failures and inability to see them in the right perspective.

Some people constantly view themselves negatively in every aspect of life. This is known as Low Self Esteem because you become what you think about most.

Characteristics of Low Self esteem:

• Undermining of one’s own abilities


• Feel devalued by others


• Feelings of helplessness


• Get influenced by others easily


• Avoidance of situations that provoke anxiety


• Become defensive and easily frustrated – Anger problems.


• Blame others for their own weaknesses

Alarm bells: Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences:

• Can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression.


• It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.


• Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior.

However there is hope and one can develop healthy self esteem by taking focused efforts and systematic measures for the same.

Some Self esteem boosters:

Develop realistic expectations from the self: Most of us end up expecting too much from ourselves.  Perfection is not possible but bettering our-self should be a lifetime goal.

Make balanced self evaluations: Recognize and focus on both your strengths and weaknesses. Accept your weaknesses. In fact, make a pact with yourself to work on them. Change what can be changed. But accept gracefully what you cannot.

Engage in useful and supportive behaviour: Drop avoidance and do not withdraw from life. In fact approach new situations with an open mind and engage in life doing pleasant activities.

Always speak well of yourself: Always have good things to say about yourself and if you have nothing good to say about yourself, keep your mouth shut.

Accept compliments: Accept and give compliments and recognize the beauty in yourself and others.

Treat yourself well: Let people know how you expect to be treated, in particular, set an example by the way you treat yourself and them.

Accept mistakes: Accept your own mistakes gracefully. There is nothing wrong in saying ‘Yes, I was wrong.”

Always, Always, Always… Think positively.

Have you ever tried boosting these above qualities in you? Know about yourself by taking an online personality test click here https://goo.gl/kL74Ik

Take a few moments to answer the questions given below to determine your level of self esteem. This questionnaire is purely a simple indicator of the level of self esteem that you may currently be experiencing as an individual.  It is not a substitute for seeking professional advice or diagnosis.

When will one know that self esteem has developed?

When you see these CHARACTERISTICS OF HIGH SELF-ESTEEM in yourself …..know that you have achieved your goal:

• Act independently


• Assume responsibility


• Be proud of accomplishments


• Approach new challenges with enthusiasm


• Exhibit a broad range of emotions


• Tolerate frustration well


• Feel capable of influencing others

Keep in mind the Self Esteem Mantra:

“No one can Make you feel inferior Without your Consent.”

-Eleanor Roosevelt

How to overcome low self esteem

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Do You Have What It Takes For a Maritime Career

Pratik had always been keen in a maritime career. The lure of the sea, the glamour of a seafaring job, and the allure of earning big money all attracted him to a career in shipping. After completing his class 12, he enrolled for deck cadet training, and soon enough, was selected by a prestigious shipping company. 4 months on the ship, however, were an eye-opener for Pratik. While his comrades were fun and supportive, the sheer hard work, the long separation from parents and friends, the lack of a social life all got to him immensely. As he came home depressed and demotivated, he vowed never again to step on a ship.

Like Pratik, many youngsters are attracted to a maritime career due to its many promises: adventure, travel, glamour and money! Indeed, a seafaring career often is adventurous, fun and rewarding – for the right people! One needs to have a certain frame of mind, a few critical personality tests, and considerable emotional resilience to sustain and enjoy a seafaring career.

So What Does a Career in the Maritime Industry Call For?

Ability to Work in Teams: As a seafarer, one should be able to work in a cooperative and collaborative manner. Connecting easily to others, adapting to the needs and requirements of people around us, ability to trust people and share an easygoing relationship are all critical to be a happy and well-adjusted seafarer. On sea, the crew is your family, and being able to get along well and work harmoniously takes on a different shade in this context.

Strong Work Ethic: In simple words, if you like to laze around and shirk work, a seafaring career is not for you! As a seafarer, you need to be able to work independently as well as with a team, you need to be confident about your capabilities, methodical and meticulous in your work. Resourcefulness and the ability to take initiative are also necessary traits to be a successful seafarer.

Leadership Traits: While team work is important, having leadership qualities is equally important in this profession. No matter at what level of the hierarchy you are in, you need to show the ability to take charge in a crisis situation, to be able to handle any situation in a calm and focused manner. Setting high goals for yourself, and working confidently toward achieving those will go a long way to decide your long term sustenance in this profession.

If you are keen on a seafaring career, and you have these traits, go ahead and take the plunge! If you are unsure about whether you have these qualities, opt for the SeaPert, a unique psychometric assessment tool that profiles your suitability for a career in the maritime industry.

To know more about the Seapert, click here Seafarers Test

Ms. Samindara Hardikar – Sawant

Clinical Psychologist
Psychometrica | Disha | Career Pathways

samindara@psychometrica.in


Do You Have What It Takes For a Maritime Career

Centre to start recruitment for jobs online

An online recruitment plan in the works may soon relieve thousands of such aspirants of the need to queue up at offices multiple times, jostle to put in a word from somebody who seems to know somebody important and possibly offer a bribe to get their police verification fast tracked — all to join a coveted government job.

Read more in details on http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/jobs/Centre-to-start-recruitment-for-jobs-online/articleshow/52051898.cms




Centre to start recruitment for jobs online

Are you Emotionally Intelligent?

For a long time, employers have been talking about hiring intelligent people, people with a high IQ, or intelligence quotient. But in the past two decades, focus has shifted from IQ to EQ, or emotional quotient. Employers now seek people who are not only intelligent, but emotionally intelligent. EQ has now become the buzzword, not just in the corporate world, but in every profession: be it teaching, medicine, engineering, law! No matter how good you are at your job, you still need to be emotionally intelligent to be able to excel at what you do!

What is this emotional intelligence?

It refers to our ability to deal with emotions and feelings in others, and ourselves. It is the basis of all human relations, and psychologists today believe that EQ is a better predictor of success than IQ. After all, our feelings and emotions are amongst our most potent resources. It is through our emotions that we connect to others and to ourselves!

Following are some major components of EQ (emotional quotient) .

Self-Awareness: Knowing your emotions, recognizing feelings as they occur, and being able to discriminate between them

Mood Management: Handling feelings in a manner that is appropriate to the situation at hand.

Self-Motivation: Directing yourself and your emotions toward a specific goal, despite self-doubt, inertia, and impulsiveness.

Empathy: Recognizing feelings in others and tuning into their verbal and nonverbal cues

Managing Relationships: Handling interpersonal interaction, conflict resolution, and negotiations

It is thus vital to know what our EQ level is. Interestingly, unlike IQ, which cannot be “increased”, we can work on raising our EQ. We can learn to become more aware of our own feelings and emotions. We can learn to control and modulate our emotional reactions.

How Can One Become Emotionally Intelligent?

• The first step is identifying emotions.


• Second is using emotions. This refers to the ability to use emotions to get desired outcomes, resolve difficulties, and achieve goals.


• The third step is understanding emotions. If we understand what causes certain emotions in us, we can use this knowledge to modulate our emotional reactions.


• Finally, we come to managing emotions: in ourselves as well as in others. How you manage emotions in yourself and others can have a profound impact on your job success and satisfaction.

Of course we have to realize that emotional intelligence is not the sole predictor of workplace success.  It is one of many important components.  It should never be thought of as a replacement or substitute for ability, knowledge or job skills.

Here are some ways in which we can use emotional intelligence at the work place.

• You can use your understanding of emotions to know what motivates people, understand other people’s points of view, and understand and handle team interactions


• You can stay aware of your emotions, which have valuable information, and use them to solve problems.


• You can try to understand your stressors, and effectively resolve them.


• Being empathetic to your team members results in better team morale and a healthier work environment.


• Resolving conflicts becomes easy if you have emotional intelligence.

Ms. Samindara Hardikar – Sawant

Clinical Psychologist

Psychometrica | Disha Counseling Center| Career Pathways

samindara@psychometrica.in

Are you Emotionally Intelligent?

Stress Management Tips at Your Rescue

Stress is the “wear and tear” our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment. In other words, it refers to the effect on a person when he does not have adequate resources to meet the challenges of life. It is the way your mind and body responds to the various demands made by life. Different people can tolerate different levels of stress.

Is stress always bad?

• The stress you experience is not necessarily harmful.

• Mild forms of stress can act as a motivator and energizer.

• However, if your stress level is too high, problems can result.

These sources of stress are called stressors. Knowing what factors are most stressful to you and how you respond to this stress is very important, because awareness is 90% of the solution.

The symptoms of stress largely fall under 4 categories:

• Feelings: Examples of the following are either feeling anxious, scared, irritable, or moody.


• Thoughts: Examples of the same are experiencing low self-esteem, fear of failure, inability to concentrate, worrying about the future, preoccupation with thoughts/tasks or forgetfulness.


• Behaviour: Examples of the following would be stuttering and other speech difficulties, crying for no apparent reason, acting impulsively, startling easily, grinding your teeth, increasing smoking / drugs / alcohol, losing your appetite or overeating.


• Physiology/Body Reactions: Examples would be having butterflies in stomach, headaches, pain in the neck and or lower back, susceptibility to illness and so forth.

Stress and Personality

While stressors are present in everyone’s life, not all of us get stressed by them, or to the same extent.

Some of us possess certain personality traits that can predispose us toward stress:

• Tension


• Guilt Proneness


• Sensitivity


• Excitability

Individuals who possess these or a combination of these traits are more likely to experience stress.

How can stress be combated ?

Many stresses can be changed, eliminated, or minimized. The right coping methods can help you. Stress Management is the ability to maintain control when situations, people, and events make excessive demands.

• Focus on task-oriented methods: Task oriented responses would include:
  • Behaviour directed primarily at dealing with the stressor.
  
  
  • Appraise situation objectively, work out alternative solutions, decide on strategy, take action and evaluate feedback.
  
  
  • Involves making changes in oneself, one’s surroundings or both.

• Confront the problem rather than brood about it!

• Seek support: from family, friends, and other important people in your life.

• Become aware of your own reactions to stress.

• Reinforce positive self-statements.

• Focus on your good qualities and accomplishments.

• Avoid unnecessary competition.

• Develop assertive behaviours.

• Recognize and accept your limits. Remember that everyone is unique and different.

• Get a hobby or two. Relax and have fun.

Benefits of managing stress effectively :

• Critical Life Skill: Good stress management will impact every sphere of your life:
  • Academic
  
  
  • Professional
  
  
  • Personal Relationships
  
  
  • Health
  
  
  • Life Satisfaction

• Enable you to deal with anxiety-provoking situations in a calm and controlled manner.

• Enable you to keep your perspective and not buckle under stress.

• Give every challenging situation your best and make full use of your resources in meeting that challenge head on.

• Learn stress buster techniques like yoga or meditation.

Ms. Shital Ravi.

Sr. Consulting Psychologist

Psychometrica

Stress Management Tips at Your Rescue

The gift of CREATIVITY

“Just as our eyes need light in order to see, our minds need ideas in order to conceive.” — Napoleon Hill

Some problems cannot be solved using the standard problem solving approaches. These problems require innovativeness or creativity in order to arrive at a solution. Thus, creativity involves finding a solution that is both unusual and useful. Creativity is about producing new ideas or combining old ideas in a unique way.

By default, we tend to think within boundaries, or limit our thinking to the obvious. However, problems often require us to think “out of the box”. Why is it that we are unable to think differently?

Road Blocks to creative thinking:

• Our education system, at times, forces us to think within boundaries.


• Natural tendency of the mind to look at the obvious rather than the covert.


• Habit: Many problems do have obvious solutions, so we are more habituated to thinking in that direction.


• We tend to use tried and tested solutions rather than struggle and stretch our thinking!

Worried you may not be creative or you may not be creative enough? This quiz will help you find out just how creative you are.

1. Do you ask questions that might seem stupid by others?
   
   a. Yes
   
   b. No


2. Do you
   
   a. delight in uncertainty and mystery?
   
   b. need a logical explanation for everything?


3. Do you
   
   a. need to put everything in its proper place?
   
   b. tolerate ambiguous situations well?


4. When someone suggests a new idea, do you
   
   a. immediately evaluate it, looking for its strengths & weaknesses?
   
   b. Play with the possibilities suggested by the idea?


5. In solving problems do you
   
   a. look for as many possibilities as you can think of?
   
   b. logically figure the situation out?


6. Do you believe that intuition is
   
   a. a reality worth relying on?
   
   b. the inability to be logical?


7. Do you
   
   a. like excitement and change?
   
   b. prefer peace and a reliable routine?


8. Do you most go by?
   
   a. a situation’s potential
   
   b. the practical consequences


9. Creativity
   
   a. is an all or none phenomena–you’re creative or you’re not?
   
   b. exists on a continuum?


10. Which is more important to originality?
    
    a. Asking the right question
    
    b. Finding the right answer

Scoring:

If you have marked your answer as ‘a’ to the following statements please give yourself ‘1’:

1, 2, 5, 6, 7,8.

If you have marked your answer as ‘b’ to the following statements please give yourself ‘1’:

3, 4, 9, 10.

Interpretation:

If your score is between 0-5: Your score falls in the low range. This indicates that you are a practical individual who likes to reach your goals in a logical and planful manner. This is beneficial in many situations. However this curbs your creative instincts as you do not let yourself think in innovative and original ways. You would need to cultivate the habit of thinking in imaginative and novel ways.

If your score is between 6-10: Your score falls in the high range. This indicates that you believe in being creative and original. You prefer to brainstorm different ways of solving a problem. You believe in your instincts and let your imagination work for you in problem solving situations.

Creativity is not a gift you have to be born with it.

Most creative people learn how to be creative. They do it logically. They look at one perspective and think of another. They appreciate metaphors. They make cross-connections easily. They trigger their thinking one way and then apply it to the problem at hand.

Cultivating Creativity: Some Guidelines

• Decide what you want to do. Without a good idea of what to create, you cannot be creative. It may be helpful to make a note of your objectives or to create a sketch of what you want to create.


• Be positive in your attitude. The solution will pop up in front of you if you work hard enough!


• Learn all you can about your subject. The more you know, the better equipped you are to find a solution.


• Think. Do not limit yourself to run-of-the-mill logical thinking. Look at your problem from new angles.


• Incubate. If the solution doesn’t come after your initial efforts, put the problem out of your mind and let your subconscious work on it. Go back to it in a few days and see where you are.


• Prune. Review your ideas and set aside the ones that have not worked. Make changes, additions, variations until you come up with your best.


• Put your ideas to work. That’s the best way of testing them!

“Embrace fully your capacity to create, to think in unlimited ways, and to pursue everything that you have been wanting.  …This can be the most joyous, prosperous, and creative time of your life.” — Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer

Shital Ravi

Sr. Consulting Psychologist
Psychometrica

The gift of CREATIVITY

ASSERTIVENESS: THE RIGHT WAY OF BEING!!

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one’s own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct, and non-aggressive way. It is the ability to express oneself and one’s rights without violating the rights of others. The ability to be assertive is an asset which is necessary to achieve worthwhile aims and impose some order and justice in one’s environment. Assertiveness does not equate to being selfish as one pays attention to not only his/her own rights but also is sensitive to the rights of others.

It would be good to understand here the difference between assertive behavior and other types of behavior. Aggressiveness means that one expresses one’s own rights but at the expense of degrading, or humiliating another individual whereas submissiveness means that one is just unable to express one’s rights and keeps compromising the self, leaving one with feelings of humiliation, guilt and dissatisfaction.

Thus the types of responses that one can give in a situation are different. Let us take a look at the types of responses and what they would mean:

• Submissiveness: I lose-You win


• Aggressiveness: I win-You lose


• Assertiveness: I win-You win

Thus one would understand that ‘When you communicate assertively, you are more likely to achieve your goal without becoming involved in a conflict with the other person which then leads one to the I win-You win position’.

But are there any reasons that are keeping you from being assertive? Let us explore some which may be the impediments that may not be allowing you to assert yourself:

• Fear of change.


• Refusal to admit one’s submissiveness.


• Fear of ruining relationships if you speak your mind.


• Lack confidence in your ability.

Dealing with the following before you embark on the journey towards transformation is important:

• Deal with the anxiety associated with change.


• Reconcile the conflicts within your value system.


• Assess the repercussions of being assertive.


• Prepare others for the changes they will see in your behavior or attitude.

Developmental measures on a way to Assertiveness…

What you could do to become assertive:

–USE “I” MESSAGES
An “I” message is a good way to let people know what you are thinking. It is made up of three parts.

• Behavior – what it is, exactly, that the other person has done or is doing


• Effect – what is happening because of their behavior


• Feelings – what effect does their behavior have on your feelings?

By using this kind of message, you are giving another person complete information, leaving no room for second guessing or doubt.

-CHOOSE ASSERTIVE WORDS CAREFULLY

• Use factual descriptions instead of judgments


• Avoid exaggerations


• Use “I” not “You”


• Express thoughts, feelings, and opinions reflecting ownership

-CHECK-UP 

Always checkup whether you have an assertive approach to situations or not.

-ACTION PLAN

Here are some communication techniques that can help you convey a positive assertive attitude:

• Use suitable facial expressions, always maintaining good eye contact.


• Keep your voice firm but pleasant.


• Pay careful attention to your posture and gestures.


• Listen…and let people know you have heard what they said.


• Ask questions for clarification.


• Look for a win-win approach to problem solving.

BENEFITS OF ASSERTIVENESS:

Embark on this journey towards assertiveness; motivate yourself towards being assertive as the benefits are immense:

• Better management of relationships


• More balanced lifestyle


• Improvement in productivity and effectiveness as a worker


• More in control of one’s daily schedules and plans


• Reduced stress.

Ms. Shital Ravi
Sr. Consulting Psychologist
Psychometrica

ASSERTIVENESS: THE RIGHT WAY OF BEING!!

How well do you handle your anger? FIND OUT!!

Anger is a natural human emotion and is nature’s way of empowering us to “ward off” our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. The problem is not anger, the problem is the mismanagement of anger. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal and professional relationships.

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

Take a few moments to answer these questions to determine the need for you to make some changes in your lifestyle. This questionnaire is purely a simple indicator of the amount of anger that you may currently be experiencing within your particular lifestyle.  It is not a substitute for seeking professional medical advice or diagnosis.

Checklist:

1.Waiting in line, or waiting for other people, really annoys me.

a] True b] False

2.I never get mad enough to throw things.

a] True b] False

3.When someone says or does something that upsets me, I don’t usually say anything at the time, but later spend a lot of time thinking up cutting replies I could and should have made.

a] True b] False

4. I seldom feel that people are trying to anger or insult me.

a] True b] False

5. I find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong.

a] True b] False

6.I’ve been so angry at times I couldn’t remember things I said or did.

a] True b] False

7.If I get really upset about something, I have a tendency to feel sick later, either with a weak spell, headache, upset stomach, or diarrhea.

a] True b] False

8. I have no enemies who really wish to harm me.

a] True b] False

9. People I’ve trusted have often let me down, leaving me feeling angry or betrayed.

a] True b] False

10. Once in a while I cannot control my urge to harm others.

a] True b] False

11. If someone doesn’t treat me right, I don’t let it annoy me.

a] True b] False

12. When I look back on what’s happened to me, I can’t help feeling mildly resentful.

a] True b] False

13. When I disapprove of my friends’ behavior, I let them know it.

a] True b] False

14. I can think of no good reason for hitting anyone.

a] True b] False

Scoring:

If you have answered ‘true’ to the following statements please give yourself ‘1’:

2, 4, 8, 11, 13, 14.

If you have answered ‘false’ to the following statements please give yourself ‘1’:

1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 12.

Now total the number of “1” responses.

Interpretation:

If your total is more then 10:

This score indicates that you tend to be calm and do not get angry easily. You are able to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You have learnt to control your reactions and are able to handle your responses in an appropriate manner.

If your total is between 5 and 9:

This score indicates that you experience moderate levels of anger. Though you are managing this emotion fairly well some changes in the present way of functioning would be beneficial.

If your total is between 0 and 4:

This score indicates that many a times you experience intense feelings of anger, and are unable to handle it in an appropriate and suitable manner. If you are finding yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you must seek help to finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

Now that you have already taken the test, you know your scores. If the score is between 0 and 4, below are a few strategies that will help you work on your anger.

Strategies to Keep Anger at Bay:

• Try using simple relaxation tools such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery to calm down angry feelings.


• Change the way you think. Try replacing angry thoughts with more rational ones.


• When angry, slow down and think carefully about what you want to say.


• At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.


• Humor can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective.


• Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful.


• You might consider counseling to learn how to handle your anger better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

Ms. Shital Ravi.
Senior Consulting Psychologist.
Psychometrica and Career Pathways.

How well do you handle your anger? FIND OUT!!